A state of equilibrium; counterbalance
Authenticity: True to ones own personality, spirit, character
Equipoise. Authenticity. These are tag words, words to live by, guideposts, reminders to ‘get real’. At times my circumstances have been far too real for my own liking. Striving for equipoise and authenticity have always served me best. They are my best survival tools.
Searching for inner guidance and strength requires trust, and time. Trust that it is going to come, and time to chill, reflect, meditate, go for a walk, and let it arrive. It comes from within. It comes in many ways and sometimes, I have to listen very, very closely as even a whisper of doubt will drown out that inner voice. Having the faith that whatever message I receive is my best bet sometimes is not easy. The other little voice, and you know the one I mean, chimes in bringing with it ennui, a lack of spirit and enthusiasm. This is a dangerous guest and an even more dangerous place to live.
Experience has been a deliberate and unapologetic master. When I venture too far from what fits and from what feels right and good, things start to fall apart. Pieces of myself and my life start crumbling, falling and hitting the ground. Survival mode will keep things together for a while. Eventually, I hit the ground. The miracle in my mind is that after all the crashes, I still pull myself together, I get up and dust off. I move forward. This is my ‘authentic’ self. I don’t quit. Some might argue that with me and say that I have quit and given up, at times. Well, I have changed my mind and my direction a few times. This is true. It’s also not the same as quitting.
When I decide that I have finished with something and am ready to move on to something different the signals are unmistakable and include: dissatisfaction, unhappiness, agitation, confusion. Unfortunately it often will include: disrespecting myself, unkindness toward myself (mainly) and others, withdrawal from life, family, friends, and a shutting out of spirit and light. It totally sucks. The only upside to this state of being is that it is a reminder that I've lost sight of who I really am and it's a very strong catalyst for change. It's time to move on. My Authentic Self is calling me out.
Change does not come easily to me. I take my time making changes. It’s a thorny process and even if something is only pretty good, I won’t be in a hurry to leave it for something unknown. So, once Authenticity has gotten my number, change is put into motion. Moving toward my true self, I must always remember to pay attention to the 'little voice' that says, ‘maybe not this way’. It's a sure sign that I'll eventually have to turn around and pick up the mess. Pay attention to the inner guidance. Have faith in the ‘silent knowing’. It’s a process.
So, how does authenticity get us to that state of equipoise? I have yet to achieve it, but I do have thoughts on that. Any kind of lasting personal change you intend to make will come from the inside, not from outside. I believe a good place to start is by striving to be your true self every day. Be your original self. Consider some ‘unbecoming behaviour'. Un-becoming everything that doesn’t fit or feel right. Get down to the heart of what makes you happy. At what point does the ache stop? When does the twitching in your brain cease? When does the anxiety leave your chest and heart? When can you breathe in and breathe out freely? Once you can hear the noise, but don't listen to it anymore, you are getting close.
We all know that we create our own reality, right? No one else is responsible for what is going on in your life right now except for you. You created it, you allowed it, and you are in charge of it. That's pretty real and empowering, if you ask me. YOU are in charge of everything in your life. No change can happen in your life until you decide that it will happen. Decide. Act on the decision you have made and make the changes that you want. Somewhere in the midst of 'living real' and 'staying in balance' a fusion is going to take place and you will find the point where you are simply 'YOU'. Welcome home.
Take it one step at a time. Strive for equipoise, balance, in your life. Dig down until you uncover your authenticity, your true self. Be grateful, every day for everything. Most importantly, remember this; you can change your mind, your direction, and your attitude as many times as need be to maintain your new found (or re-found) state of joy, but never ever give up on yourself. So, before you run out and buy every self-help book (you can do that later), consider where you are right now. Isn't this as good a place as any to start? Right where you are, right now.
Monica Meier, RRPr
Registered Reflexology Practitioner
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog & I hope you have enjoyed it. All opinions expressed are my own, and in no way are meant to council or advise. I write from my own experience and offer it as food for thought to others on the path toward a more spiritual, balanced and happy life.